I haven’t done a full out rant in a while so this seems almost past due.

After 50 years of encouraging poor and damn near impossible body standards in pre-teen girls the hatchet is finally coming down from “parents” in regards to the new “Tattoo Stylin’ Barbie.” The perfect skin,  39-18-33 measurement (that was only recently altered to something more human) and total lack of cellulite anywhere on her body isn’t what’s getting parents all pissy, its a tattoo (of a butterfly!)

“Inked Slut Barbie” comes with several tattoos that kids get to stick onto Barbie or her clothes, they even get a few temporaries for themselves. What do these hedonistic and satanic images look like? Sorry, you wont find much in the way of skulls and grim reapers for poor little Barbie, she comes with flash #22 and #48 hearts, stars, flowers and a rather neat original Barbie logo silhouette.

Again its not the impossible body that has parents in a tizzy, its those evil butterflies and flowers. Some parents even claim that this Barbie encourages kids to show off their bodies. Seriously? Lets take a look at Barbie next to her arch nemisis friend Hannah Montanna. Looks like they’re both showing about the same amount of vinyl skin, in fact Hannah is revealing more than Barbie! And that tiny butterfly tattoo is not forcing her to show more skin.

Here’s a fantastic real life story for all those crazy anti-tattoo pro-Barbie parents. I had Barbies growing up (much to my feminist mothers dismay) and I have a tattoo. My parents were parent enough to tell me that tattoos hurt and while they can be an expression of the self they don’t have to be constantly on display. My parents were also smart enough to tell me that Barbie was a doll and real women don’t look like that. Instead of replacing parenting with a doll they made sure I knew the difference between a fake doll and real life.

No, you can’t wear a bikini to school. Why not, Barbie does. Barbie is a doll, so unless you want to be fake, you’ll put on some pants.

The complaining “parents” seem apt to associate tattoos with showing off your body but really they shouldn’t be going after a doll for that. Take a look at any kids department in a clothing store. Half the stuff in there is more revealing than I would wear and I’m 25!

Is Barbie promoting a bad image for girls? Yes. Does adding a tattoo make her any more a poor role model than before? No. I have issues with people claiming Barbie as a role model anyway, but lets just be perfectly honest. The girls who have to look to Barbie for social and personal guidance have more problems and issues at home than having a doll as a role model.